Corporate Lessons:

Being a Business Major and working for an annoying Corporate Powerhouse I found these to be soooo funny and true......
Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife
quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When
she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
"Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she
replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be
in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a nun. She got in and crossed
her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest
nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he
stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But,
changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The
nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm
129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They
rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give
each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says
the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the
office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So,
the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must
be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble
on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found
that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch
of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there
he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullsh*t might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.